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It is too easy to make my reply sound like gibberish, so I will try to highlight my main points with style.
I was/am going through a very similar situation to the one you described, with small differences. In my case, I also had low self-esteem, but I had never let it affect a relationship with anyone until this one. I trusted that my boyfriend would respect me, but it turned out that he cared way too much about how many men I'd slept with, how often I wanted to have sex, how often I orgasmed, the way I danced at the bar, instead of what my feelings were about him. Because I thought I loved him, I stuck through it all, but it destroyed who I was, and trust me, rebuilding that relationship confidence is like crawling up from hell.
Your story brings up so many red flags, as shesus said. The biggest one that screams change something is that your first words are that you have this wonderful relationship, isn't it great, but look at all these problems. I said that too many times to count, and for me it came from a belief that all relationships take work, and darnit I'm not gonna stop working at it because that's what it takes to make it with someone. I think a step back is necessary to re-evaluate the relationship and honestly ask yourself if you are in it because you love it, or if you are in it because you hope things will be wonderful in the future and are willing to work to make it so. If it's the latter, it's not the relationship for you. You can't sustain a meaningful relationship on hope alone.
But stop worrying so much. The hard fact of life is that nothing is certain. It is never certain whether anyone will treat your heart like a cheap frisbee, and you may never see it coming. That is extraordinarily hard to accept, but accepting that seems better than driving yourself crazy over what might happen. I think you will enjoy your relationship more if you have the trust there.
I am not saying, let him do what he wants, assume he will never cheat. Talk to him about it, and also to someone you trust, and hopefully you will get the reassurance you need so the trust can gradually develop. If you can't get that, then again, perhaps this relationship isn't right for you.
/end ridiculously long-winded answer
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cheers to the motherland
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