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Originally Posted by jth
That Sonic is where my brother and his wife first started to date... maybe it's a special place. I just like the tater tots
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This is an absolutely fantastic quote!
Regarding your situation.. I wouldn't lead her on, even if you aren't trying to and she isn't getting the message. I agree telling her online is shallow and inappropriate, and if you set up a meeting she will likely think it's a date, instead of a breaking off point. You could write her a letter, but that is distanced also, and likely not an ideal route.
I gather she enjoys being with you, and as long as she isn't trying to get into your pants, perhaps you could pursue friendship with her. Even if she is intent on getting into your pants, perhaps you could pursue friendship with her?
I think you ultimately have to take some action either way. Otherwise, this will likely linger and follow you around for awhile. I tend to overthink a lot, and given your lengthy post and thought process, it seems you are an overthinker also. This is good, but also can be bad if you let it linger too long.
You could talk with her and work towards a resolve. Or you could break off communication entirely, and just "disappear" to her. I would not recommend that latter, as I think resolving would ultimately be more comfortable for both of you.