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His drinking will become a bigger problem over time, quite likely. You're not his mom, you shouldn't have to put up with shit like that.
You need to like yourself more. Give yourself a little more value. Right now his lack of worry about your worries is eating at that low self-esteem more and more. He's probably also the worng person to help your self-esteem get any better.
Sometimes your instincts are right. Usually mine are. When I see meddling ex-girlfriends alarm bells go off in my head. Something will probably happen, if it hasn't already.
So my advice? It's not going to work, and you CAN find someone better. Someone who makes you feel happy and confident and secure in your relationship. Someone who gives a damn about your feelings. Someone who is happy enough with you, himself and his life, that he doesn't have to resort to crutches (like alcohol) to get through the day - or that, whatever their failings may be, are willing to talk about them and actively try to work them out of their system.
I'm not usually this blunt but your post strikes a chord with me and I know how hard it is to see the wood for the trees when you're wrapped up in your own feelings for someone else. Whatever you decide, don't be blind. You may not be perfect, but neither is he.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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