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all good advice in the same vein here.
i like the garden analogy. think of you and your ex's psyches as gardens. when you were together you were taking care of each other's gardens, pouring lots of energy into each other's garden. now that you're on your own, you have to redirect all your energy that was going outward and take care of yourself... this is not an entirely bad thing. we forget that there are certain things that only you can do to take care of your garden.
The key word i can add to everyone else's advice here is "accomplishment". you gotta build things up and hit milestone goals you set to feel better. and it has to be beyond the scope of your main time sinks, like work and school. it doesn't matter if it's art or fitness or finance... when you achieve some tangible accomplishments, they become building blocks to a new chapter in your life and a whole new you.
your confidence mirrors these accomplishments and is built up right alongside. and you suddenly go off the charts when it comes to being attractive to the ladies... to the point where your on a new chapter w/ them as well as with yourself.
good luck, buck up, and keep your head up.
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-my phobia drowned while i was gettin down.
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