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Originally Posted by james t kirk
But she can't keep up with him in the bedroom. Not even close, so he has his discrete affairs. He'll never leave his wife in a million years, but he needs to have his sex drive taken care of.
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As much as people would hold such behavior as wrong, there is truth to it. The problem with affairs is there is a chance they would be discovered and ruin his relationship. On moral grounds what he is doing is wrong, even if he is being true to human ethology. Lucky couples are able to have their cake and eat it too so to speak, but it goes against the current accepted norm. Somewhat sadly we have turned out back on human nature in favor of the concept that humans have no instincts and such behavior is all taught. Prior to this period it was accepted that men would see prostitutes and have mistresses and still be good husbands. Now such behavior is vilified, but the instincts to have such affairs has not gone away.
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Originally Posted by ratbastid
I can see that. Also as the lower-drive partner gets more and more annoyed with the drivenness and pressure from the higher-drive partner, their interest will tend to decrease. Nothing kills sexual interest like pressure.
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I was thinking the same thing actually. I'm just finding a correlation, not a causation here. I told the wife a few days ago I should just deny her for a month or two
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Originally Posted by Mantus
How can you test this Ustwo? Obviously the one who's sex drive is still normal will want more sex because they are denied sex. While the one who's sex drive is deminishing continues to experience whatever is causing them to lose their sex drive.
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I think your first concept is correct. If you don't get it you want it more. This would make your sex drive seem to be going up, when its really due to just not getting enough for your current drive.
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PS. I read this study about males getting used to their partners pheromones and thus losing intrest over time. I am sure anyone who's tried to have sex every day with their SO for a month experienced this.
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I don't believe in pheromones having a great effect on humans. We are set up different sexually, pheromones are more for animals where the females are only receptive when in season. This doesn't mean you don't get bored so to speak, only that I don't think pheromones are a cause.
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What works to counter-balance this is exposure to other women's pheremones. So guys who work in environment with allot of women generally have higher libidos with their long term spouse.
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My guess is what counter-balances this is being exposed to other females who you would like to have sex with. Men are visual and don't need smell to become sexually aroused. Thats why we have the titty board after all.
Polygamy is a natural desire for males (cuckholdry is more natural for females). Men can have several children a day if he has several partners, women can't, so there is a genetic advantage for men who have polygamous relationships. Men who were always turned on 100% by the same partner would have less children in the long run than the polygamist and we are decedents of these people.