Tirian

Can I add (with experience) some of the feelings and emotions that may come to the mind of the higher driven partner when the other repeatedly turns down advances, and when the do agree they don't exactly get fully involved so to speak.

* It generates feelings of rejection for the higher drive partner.
* It kills the emotion of closeness (which is usually the feeling dwmanded by the lower drive person).
* It leaves the person with feelings of insecurity, both about self image and about the relationship in general.
* It causes the higher drive person to question the love and commitment of the lower partner.
* Feelings of not being loved are generated.

Eventually I can easily see how this can lead to a situation where the person with the higher drive simply ceases to request sex, ceases to make advances, and ecentually turns down the partner.

I don't know if I'm allowed to link to a book here, but I think It's OK.

I was looking for information on this subject weeks ago and came across this web site....

http://divorcebusting.com/dbsex.mv?ARTID=sexstarved

The author has a book called "The Sex Starved Marraige". I intend to read it, but have not yet so I cannot post a review here.

Here's a quote from the first chapter available online....

"Contrary to what you might be thinking, saying a marriage is sex-starved tells you virtually nothing about how much or how little sex a couple is actually having." .... " It’s not about numbers. Since, unlike vitamins, there are no recommended daily requirements to insure a healthy sex life, a sex-starved marriage is more about the fallout that occurs when one spouse is deeply unhappy with his/her sexual relationship and this unhappiness is ignored, minimized, or dismissed. The resulting disintegration of the relationship encapsulates the real meaning of a sex-starved marriage."

This sounds a bit like some of the things posted in this thread. It also reflects some of my own opinion on the subject. Anyways this entire book is written on the subject asked by the OP, so I thought I'd bring it to your attention.

PS If anyone has read this book, I'd appreaciate a post or PM about it.

Oh this is SOOOO true, and if a person dosn't like themself, you can't make them do that either.

Both a big factor in a sexual relationship in my opinion.