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Very interesting thread.
My wife cheated on me 22 years ago, with my brother. I decided (after long thought) to try to save our relationship. We went to counseling and after a handfull of visits I was told it was my fault. Needless to say that was the end of counseling.
We worked on things, we argued and we cried. We managed to save our relationship.
I was so devastated at the time that I am still not able to find adequate words to describe the pain and anger.
Over the years we "rebuilt" our relationship and are approaching our 26th anniversary.
Here's the the deal. She knew she was wrong and paid a very high price emotionally and physically. Anorexia brought on by guilt that almost killed her. She wasn't "driven" to it. It was partially due to drugs (which he supplied her) and not really thinking about the actual implications of actions.
So here I am all these years later and have started counseling because these memories started coming back and have me severely depressed.
At any rate, I do not believe you can be driven. It is still a choice, judgement may be impaired but it's still a choice you have to take responsibility for. As for the "once a cheater always a cheater" folks, I don't buy that. I've lived through it.
Sorry for rambling on.
Peace
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