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It sounds to me like your father is a pretty good manipulator who can't stand to be told "no". As others have said, this is strictly your parents' problem, and nothing you or your sister do (within reason) should influence it one way or the other. If your father tells you otherwise, it's just further manipulation. He's told you that YOU'RE the reason he hit your mom. He's said that YOU have to put your future on hold to save his relationship. He's shown he's capable of inflicting physical and emotional abuse, so the best thing to do is stay away.
Go look into financial aid. Explain the situation. Loan officers tend to be very understanding about this kind of thing, especially if they see that you'll be paying your own way going forward. Get your degree and get on with your life. Your father is digging his own grave, and don't let him pull you into it with him.
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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
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