Quote:
|
Originally Posted by sillypuddy
<...>
for the past 2 years, have been hesitating about the marriage thing. The main Q for me was whether we were compatible, and how I knew that she was the one... in that period, my hesitation caused her grief and she in turn started to question our relationship... I'd like to say that we never did have any major fights or major incompatibilities...
<...>
she had decided to herself to set a deadline for end of this summer, and lo and behold she still wasn't able to get over her hesitation by this time.
|
In my opinion (which you've got nothing to go on as I'm pretty new here), I think it's too late for this relationship.
First off, speaking from experience, if you're in a relationship when you've talked about the future, & then one of you backs off to question things... of course the other person is going to notice & become guarded. At that point they will probably emotionally back out of the relationship so as not to get their feelings any more hurt.
Secondly, & this is the part that mainly pertains to the quoted text above, it sounds as if for approximately 2 years you were both questioning the relationship & setting deadlines, but it doesn't sound as if you did any of this together as a couple. You say you questioned whether or not you were compatible, but not how you talked to her about your reservations. She decided on her own to set a deadline for her issues, but didn't tell you until you brought up the state of the relationship. For 2 years the two of you didn't communicate about some key problems, that's not only a huge thing to overcome, but the fact that you couldn't talk it out together speaks volumes to the health of your relationship or lack thereof.