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And if Steve had a problem with me, he'd tell me. He's never had a problem saying so before, so I don't see why it would be any differently now.
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Heh, women make everything different. I'd agree with those above who say let the friendship be on Steve's terms. Keep up some regular contact, but let him do some of the legwork if he wants to remain friends. You can't force someone to dump their SO, no matter how much of a good idea it might be.
It does suck to (potentially) lose a friend this way, but there's not much of an alternative other than to basically let it run its course. Hopefully he'll wise up, but if not, life's too short to dwell on it.