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Old 08-21-2006, 08:17 PM   #9 (permalink)
Socrates
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Quote:
If I may ask.. how old are you? How old is your sister? Your parents? When were they diagnosed? Have either of them been like this before, or is it solely since they got sick?
My mother or step-mom has always disliked me because of reasons Im not going to get into, she has been very vicious physically in my younger years but gradually its gotten verbal over the years BUT after a while you get used to it and just not say anything but brush it off. As for my father he "shows" a nice exterior but in fact he is very coniving and manipulative. Very selfish too but he never used to put me down or belittle me in front of anyone but that seems to have changed. Another interesting thing about him is that when I used to ask him for advice he would say the most vaguest things and leave me to interpret it as I see fit, he never told me about general life facts or about the "real world", I had to learn everything the hard way. He still acts this way that is why I have stopped asking him for anything.

I just turned 21 recently, and my sibling is 14 years of age. My father is in his mid 50's and my mother in her mid 40's.

Quote:
Something's going on that they don't want to tell you about. It has to do with money. I think Jess's guess about medical bills is a very good one.
Something is going on because my dad's business hasn't been doing good lately according to my lil sister who is nosy as hell she says that right now we are living hand to mouth BUT they never tell ME this, they always exclude these things from me and when I do ask they don't desire to tell or snap. Frankly I've stopped even asking. I just wish they would ASK me for help rather then acting it out. Believe it or not I used to help my dad out with the business but gradually he would give me less and less of my pay, when I confronted him I was told I am greedy. I tried to explain to him that I do need to pay for other things and $40 for working 8 - 10 hours wasn't cutting it, he didn't seem to care so now Im working somewhere else or other-wise I would have been taken over the business for him but apparently he doesn't want me to.

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Now is the time to be a loving son and step in there and make a difference for them. This is an opportunity for you to be the bigger person. I don't mean condoning or putting up with what's going on, I mean that what an adult would do in this situation is to address it honestly and give your parents as much love and support as you can. In fact, you shouldn't tolerate what's going on for another moment. But that's not the same as moving out, blaming them, and giving up on them. This is going to require you getting bigger than your personal concerns.
I've always tried but its as if they expect me to be perfect, Im far from it and even told them that but I guess they still haven't realized. I put myself in their shoes and try to understand them which I've done pretty well over the years and tried to be less of a burden as I could but I guess they don't seem to see things from my view.

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You wouldn't really want to have to go through the rest of your life knowing that your got pissed at your parents and gave up on them just before they died, do you?
Exactly, that is why I came here looking for a solution, so I guess Im going to have to be the bigger man. My grandfather came today and they were the happiest people you have ever seen it was ridiculous how fake they became BUT even though this "incident" occurred in the last week I will talk to my dad and ask him if he actually needs money and Im more then willing to help him out. I've helped him out in the past too so why should I have a problem helping him out now.

Any more suggestions because you guys really really did help me believe it or not.

Last edited by Socrates; 08-21-2006 at 08:24 PM..
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