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You're definitely not totally faultless in either situation, but she was the one in the committed relationship - not you. Being mutual friends certainly doesn't help. You've got a conscientious - what is it telling you.
I don't think she had much respect for anyone. Sounds like she wants what she wants and doesn't matter who gets hurt.
To may way one thinking ............ in the first instance, if it truly was a mistake hooking up, and she felt she 'needed' that but felt truly guilty, then I wouldn't inform the boyfriend. Once can be forgiven and everyone deserves a second chance. The fact that she did spill her guts in a fit of rage may imply that she was just waiting for the right time to stick it to him - premeditated. Surely there's another fun gal to hang out with. You sound like a stepping stone for her.
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ciao bella!
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