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Originally Posted by Ustwo
My 'mental' cut off is about 10 years. If I were single I might go out and find some wonderful, great, 19 year old but I'd feel like I'd be cheating her out of a lot of living by doing so. Plus I'd have to explain half my jokes, as what I grew up with in the 70's and 80's would be to her what the 50's and 60's were to me.
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Ustwo has some good points here (/pinches self, remembering that we are outsied of the Politics board
).
There is something to be said for having a long-term relationship with someone around your age (I'd say 5 years above or below my age is about my limit, though 10 is definitely a cut-off for me). I've always enjoyed growing together with my peer-groups, and I don't take to being friends with people who are more like parents, aunts, uncles, older cousins/siblings, etc to me (or being friends with people to whom I am an "elder" of some sort, as laughable as that sounds).
Life stages are really important things to go through together, for me... that is a huge part of the joy of "growing old" together. (What use is it, if the other person has already "grown old" and is simply watching you go through it all?... or vice versa.)
Cases in point:
I watched my aunt, in her 40s, marry a man in his 20s... they were initially very happy, but became miserable once she hit menopause (after 5-10 years). He cheated on her multiple times. I think he has always been resentful of her and of himself for believing that this thing could work once physical changes started manifesting themselves. He is really no longer attracted to her, obviously.
I also watched my uncle, in his 50s, marry a woman in her 30s. They had a child together, but the man is basically like a grandpa. The wife had a briefly happy time at the beginning of the marriage, but after a few years (and a kid, yes, at his age) she basically became like a daughter/servant of his, because he needed constant care. She was no longer his lover, partner, or anything of the sort. Not to mentio he stopped being able to get it up at some point, due to his age and health. I believe her best years were stolen from her by my uncle.
Not saying this always has to happen... but notice that at least in these two cases, the people were blissfully happy at the beginning, and then it faded even more quickly than most same-age marriages fade. The reality sets in after a few years together... different generations are pretty hard to mesh. Then again, people say that about interethnic relationships, too, and I believe firmly in those! So, who knows.
I'd say enjoy it while it lasts. But don't set your heart on it lasting too long. If it does, woo-hoo. If not, move on and learn from it. Ngdawg knows what's up.
