jth

Hey all.

So this has got a bit of a long story so I'll hammer it out starts 3 yrs ago

I was a senior at my undergrad university and over the summer I was hired by the faculty to work RA and coach at a Jazz camp for highschool students or generally people between highschool and university (which was the demographic they were after). When I was teaching there I met a lot of young cats who were interested in music etc. One of them turned 18 during the camp and subsquently was enrolled in the fall semester at school. It appears that at this camp I made quite an impression or something and it quickly was brought to my attention in the fall that she liked me.

That all went down in a very highschool manner (she got her friends to talk to me "do ya like her do ya do ya" sort of deal) and I was uninterested for several reasons. A - being she had just turned 18, I was 23 and she was very much 18 in her attitude etc. B - I was a senior she was frosh and I was not sticking around and C - I didn't want to be involved with anyone. So quickly I managed to nip it in the bud and then next time one of her friends asked me what I thought about her and if I would date her I said no, I wouldn't reason A B and C.

A few years pass without seeing or hearing anything about her because there was no reason to know anything about her and I go to grad school in Texas (I'm from Novascotia, she's from here as well I think) and I get into this top school and work hard and get a scholarship for my hard work and come back home in the summertime to unwind, practice, perform etc. When I get back I hook up with my old teacher for a few beers and he tells me she is going to this school as well as her now Ex Boyfriend. Right away I feel redflaged that if she remembers me this could be trouble, big trouble. Unfortunately for me I'm to much of a nice guy and I then get added to her myspace page and I email her saying if she needs any help getting set up that I would be happy to help. It's been 3 years maybe she just had some random girl crush on me for some reason. Anyway, I know how hard it was for me to go down there and I had family there. She has only an exBF.

So next thing she's got me on MSn and is confessing that she likes me and liked me since she met me etc. Which from my end is alright at least she got it out in the open. She said that she wanted to take me out when we got to Denton just for saying thanks for helping her get ready for the semester, helping her with how to pick classes and what professors to watch out for. She didn't put it in a date way, but in a 'thank you' way.

Next thing I know she's driven down to my town for a gig that doesn't exist (i'm suspect if it ever really did exist or if it was an excuse to get her down here to see me, but I give her the benifit of the doubt). So she says, lets go hang tonight. I agree since I have nothing else to do (which was probably a mistake) and we go out, have dinner with our mutual professor friend, go play pool and then she says she wants to go out to the beeach to which I am not very receptive to. But we go anyway and she tries to put a move on me or whatever and I think I made it clear I was uninterested.

Needless to say we went seperate ways but had a good conversation but I think I was miss understood. I said to her that I liked her, she was funny and kind and easy to talk to. But that relationships are not something I am wanting to be apart of right now as I'm focused on my graduate work. She was agreeing with everything I said saying "yeah I mean I just want to you know go slowly and have a friend when I get down there etc." which was fine with me. But I know now that's horseshit because she really wants another BF as she has stated online in a blog that she "wants another boyfriend and I hope it happens soon" sort of deal. Plus on MSN she says shit like "I was thinking about you." or "I miss you". I'm like, I don't know freaking out I guess because I do want her as a friend but she's really clingy right now and trying to latch onto something, I don't know what.

My experience with women is limited and generally pesamistic which is probably causing me to see things that aren't there? I don't want to alienate her or avoid her but something tells me that she is someone that I'm going to want to know when i get down there since I don't know of anyone else from our part of the Country at the school and sometimes it's nice to be able to talk to someone who speaks the same language... but it's so obvious that she wants to be with me in a way I don't want anything to do with right now.

Sorry for the rant

Advice? Am I being selfish?

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"A real leader faces the music, even if he doesn't like the tune." - unknown quote