Some of those are by Kinky Friedman and the Jewboys  He's running for governor of TX this coming year.
Well,
"1. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed" is at least.
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I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
Emo Philips
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