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Ustwo · 07-18-2006, 10:23 AM

Lots of hypotheticals there that would take a paper to really answer so I'll stick to the general idea.

I would think for most people, a romantic relationship working without sex only works in movies and medieval poetry.

After my wife had our child she had almost zero sex drive for about six months or so. I'm in a interesting situation where I have an outlet for sex outside of marriage with a good friend of ours, so the pure sex drive was taken care of (and no I've never cheated on my wife, we conservatives are kinky). Despite this, the lack of sex between us was putting a strain on our relationship. It wasn't just the lack of sex, but the change in personality that seems to follow a lack of sex drive. When your spouse becomes closer to a roomate than a mate, its going to put a strain on the relationship. Anyways we had some long discussions about this, but talking about it doesn't return the sex drive. Once she cut down on the breast feeding, her sex drive went up (I would marry a woman where if anything MAY decrease sex drive, she will be one of those women) and she was back to normal.

Had her sex drive not returned, I don't think I would have stayed married. I'd still be married now and we would undoubtedly be trying to figure out what was wrong, but in the long run a sexless marriage doesn't work, unless both have no sex drive. I know people in sexless marriages where one still has a strong sex drive and every one of them is miserable.

07-18-2006, 10:23 AM	#5 (permalink)
Ustwo Pissing in the cornflakes	Lots of hypotheticals there that would take a paper to really answer so I'll stick to the general idea. I would think for most people, a romantic relationship working without sex only works in movies and medieval poetry. After my wife had our child she had almost zero sex drive for about six months or so. I'm in a interesting situation where I have an outlet for sex outside of marriage with a good friend of ours, so the pure sex drive was taken care of (and no I've never cheated on my wife, we conservatives are kinky). Despite this, the lack of sex between us was putting a strain on our relationship. It wasn't just the lack of sex, but the change in personality that seems to follow a lack of sex drive. When your spouse becomes closer to a roomate than a mate, its going to put a strain on the relationship. Anyways we had some long discussions about this, but talking about it doesn't return the sex drive. Once she cut down on the breast feeding, her sex drive went up (I would marry a woman where if anything MAY decrease sex drive, she will be one of those women) and she was back to normal. Had her sex drive not returned, I don't think I would have stayed married. I'd still be married now and we would undoubtedly be trying to figure out what was wrong, but in the long run a sexless marriage doesn't work, unless both have no sex drive. I know people in sexless marriages where one still has a strong sex drive and every one of them is miserable. __________________ Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.