Originally Posted by skier

I'd get rid of her. She doesn't have your interests at heart, and her actions show she cares little for you.

If you really want to keep her around, you're going to have to pull some basic psychological training on her, the kind of stuff you would do on a 6 year old to teach them what's right and wrong. She lacks the maturity level to communicate with you and work out her problems- so you need to move a step down.

Basic psych training:

1. Punish her when she does bad things. It sounds like she craves attention, good or bad. Make yourself unavailable for a short time when she goes wrong.

2. Reward her for good things, or even tolerable things. You want her to associate you with good feelings and well being, not arguments and anger.

3. Show how her actions are ridiculous by mirroring them. Do so in a clear and concise way so that she recognizes that you are copying something she does. Ease that blow with humour if you can.

4. Lead by example, especially after punishment. It's not enough for her to know what the wrong thing to do is; you need her to understand the correct response to the situation she erred in so that she knows the right thing to do.

5. If you get into an actual argument, present her with a few options- all of them
in your favor. Make the option you prefer to sound the most reasonable of the choices you present.

6. When she does the right thing, follow it up. Repetition, repetition, repetition. Only way you'll change her default/gut reaction.

Just some things you can do. I think the whole thing is childish though. Takes a lot of effort and hard work to influence a person, let alone fundamentally change their behavior patterns. She has a lot of life lessons to learn, and it looks like she wants to learn them the hard way.