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I didn't take the time to read the whole thread, so pardon me if someone has already said this:
Next time you encounter that trap, just jokingly say "Well, pretty much everything. I'm only with you for your money, y'know." Then laugh, pray that she laughs too, and change the subject. If she doesn't laugh, then she's got no sense of humor and is probably a tightwad. Let her start a fight, then dump her the next day. If she does laugh, then congrats, you just made your girl laugh, one of the most important things for a boyfriend to do.
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When in doubt, sauerkraut.
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