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Originally Posted by little_tippler
With regards to the initial question, I agree with Fredweena's take on the situation. There are all sorts of clichés for this:
less is more
distance makes the heart grow fonder
What seems to be happening in essence, is that you liked her so "leaned" in a bit too much for her taste and she was put off. So she backed away from you a bit. After a while of this back and forth, you got tired of her disinterest. Then she was "free" of you for a time. And maybe she did like you and would think about you sometimes after that. Now she wonders why you backed away. So when there is new contact, she shows some interest. I think she probably likes herself a fair amount and doesn't get why your attention waned, and subconsciously maybe she doesn't want to not have that attention. So when you cool off and don't reply or don't show much interest, she tries again. This is very common when people don't quite know what they want, but know they like to have lots of attention.
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She is a self proclaimed princess and openly "brags" about being high maintenance, so I don't think this mindset is necessarily subconscious at all. I have a strong suspicion that Paris Hilton is someone she looks up to, perhaps even idolizes to an extent.
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I also agree with Toaster. She is probably more of a taker than a giver. Either she will learn through life that she can't always have what she wants, or she will always be this way and personally, I think this kind of person can suck the life and energy out of you so fast it's really not something you should want for yourself. People like that need someone who is able to take over from them and be firm and no offense, but it doesn't sound like you're that person.
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No offense taken at all. I would agree strongly that she is a taker, and such a relationship is pretty much full circle opposite of anything I desire, even on a frienship level. Frienships to me take work and are mutual endeavors, and thus I have no desire to waste time with people that expect everything done for them without reciprocation.
To update the sitation.. I received the invite in the mail today.. I can't attend the party due to a conflict with work, so that works out nicely.
I am still debating whether to write a short letter saying I can't make it and congratulate her, or a longer one explaining things and how they've faded between us, etc. I think I ultimately will write a short letter and just not make any efforts at contacting her anymore, as that will ideally end in a seperation that will stretch further and further as we go our own ways in life. I certainly want to write the letter (over a phone call), as that will tie up ends on my end of the situation, but other than that I am likely going to avoid a lengthy letter that will likely lead to more obscurity about where things stand.
Up until now I have desired some sort of closure on the situation, but recently I'm content telling her I can't make the party due to a time conflict and wishing her well in life.