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Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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This is something that I remind people all the time when they doubt themselves about their own feeling and situations.
When I was a tween, I took college courses on Assertiveness Training along with a few other courses. This list was similar to one I was handed on day one.
Quote:
Your Legitimate Rights
You have the right to put yourself first sometimes.
You have the right to make mistakes.
You have the right to be the final judge of your feelings and accept them as legitimate.
You have the right to have your own opinions and convictions.
You have the right to change your mind or decide on a different course of action.
You have a right to protest unfair treatment or criticism.
You have a right to interrupt in order to ask for clarification.
You have a right to negotiate for change.
You have a right to ask for help or emotional support.
You have a right to feel and express pain.
You have a right to ignore the advice of others.
You have a right to receive formal recognition for your work and achievements.
You have a right to say "no."
You have a right to be alone, even if others would prefer your company.
You have a right not to have to justify yourself to others.
You have a right not to take responsibility for someone else's problem.
You have a right not to have to anticipate others' needs and wishes.
You have a right not to always worry about the goodwill of others.
You have a right to choose not to respond to a situation.
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another handout was about the different interpersonal styles
Quote:
Three Basic Interpersonal Styles
The first step in assertiveness training is to identify the three basic styles of interpersonal behavior.
Aggressive Style.
Typical examples of aggressive behavior are fighting, accusing, threatening, and generally stepping on people without regard for their feelings. The advantage of this kind of behavior is that people do not push the aggressive person around. The disadvantage is that people do not want to be around him or her.
Passive Style.
A person is behaving passively when he lets others push him around, when he does not stand up for himself, and when he does what he is told, regardless of how he feels about it. The advantage of being passive is that you rarely experience direct rejection. The disadvantage is that you are taken advantage of, and you store up a heavy burden or resentment and anger.
Assertive Style.
A person is behaving assertively when he stands up for himself, expresses his true feelings, and does not let others take advantage of him. At the same time, he is considerate of others' feelings. The advantage of being assertive is that you get what you want, usually without making others mad. If you are assertive, you can act in your own best interest and not feel guilty or wrong about it. Meekness and withdrawal, attack and blame are no longer needed with the mastery of assertive behavior. They are seen for what they are - sadly inadequate strategies of escape that create more pain and stress than they prevent. Before you can achieve assertive behavior you must face the fact that the passive and aggressive styles have often failed to get you what you want.
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__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
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