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My biggest problem was being assertive. I was battered down and controlled by my parents to the point that I was total whimpy milquetoast and didn't realize how bad I was until I had to start therapy.
Teaching assertiveness has to start with the reasons one isn't. They stem from fears, but those fears are varied. Next, question whether those fears are logical and helpful. The answer will most likely be no. Now confront them head-on and make the effort to lose the fear and worry; worry is a needless action. If you can't act on it, don't do it. You have to tell yourself this every time a worry comes-can I make a change? No? Then I have to let it go. Can I make a change? Yes? Then make it.
Replay a whimpy time in your life. Change your reaction and change the outcome mentally. If you can have someone role play the time along with you, better still.
Take one chance that has held you back. Fly in a plane, use a public bathroom, tell a stranger they look great. Cross a line once you never would have thought you could. Didn't die? Cool...cross another one.
Assertiveness too many times is confused with aggression but they are totally different. Being assertive means standing up for yourself, going for what is fair in your life, beating fears and worries that block your path. And while you can be aggressive in your goal-chasing, being aggressive against other people is ill-advised, but being assertive is well-advised.
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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
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