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Okay, shortest post of advice I have ever given:
Dump her.
To elaborate slightly, she is still in high school mode. You are in adult mode. Thus, you will continue to have conflict in what you expect of each other. No, she doesn't communicate constructively, yes, she is immature and unnecessary, but unless you are head over heels in love and willing to teach her how to argue and otherwise communicate fairly, there's no point.
I think there's no point. My apologies for the bluntness.
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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.
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