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How long have you been together?
And are you sure you even want to continue the relationship? It sounds like it's more trouble than it's worth. She sounds highly destructive, to the point where she's trying to get you to break up with her (but not directly) because she can't do it herself. That's just my gut reaction to your post, though... I may well be wrong.
She needs to get herself into counseling; this is not the kind of shit you can deal with just between you two. If she's not willing to go to counseling for the sake of the relationship, then she's not worth being with, frankly. That's just selfishness.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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