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To answer the initial question, it's called the Intimacy Dance. One person expresses interest, puts in an effort, and "leans in" towards the other person. The other, in response, "leans away" in a complementary move. In a healthy relationship of any kind, the dance flows with each person leaning in and leaning away throughout the "song". Some people can't give up the lead, though. They try and pull another person in by leaning away and when they realize the other person isn't following they reverse course and lean in more forcefully. That's why "ignoring" works.
As for how I'm interpreting your posts, it sounds as if she really feels the need to be in control of whatever type of relationship you two will have. Meeting her face-to-face in a neutral location to discuss why you're hesitant puts you on equal footing and doesn't leave as much room for misinterpretation as IM and texting does. If she chooses not to meet with you on your terms, than that is her issue. That's my two cents.
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Here's how life works: you either get to ask for an apology or you get to shoot people. Not both. House
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Originally Posted by Plan9
Just realize that you're armed with smart but heavily outnumbered.
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The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. Ayn Rand
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