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Originally Posted by Supple Cow
You sound like you're just waiting for her to leave you... is this because you think she doesn't want you anymore or that she is just waiting for something better to come along? Is it because you are waiting for her to figure out that you aren't the person she thinks you are? What really is the issue?
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She told me once that she's the type of person that "waits for the ball to drop". I think that's what I find myself doing as well. I'm just waiting for her to find some reason to break it off, even though I don't want it to end. So, maybe this is all in my head and I just need to learn to let go of those feelings.
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Originally Posted by Sultana
It's important to get into a more self-sufficient emotional state, and then decide if you are going to trust that person again. Also, it's a real good idea to be aware that you shouldn't take people for granted. There's a big different between trust, and taking them for granted.
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What exactly do you mean by "taking them for granted"? Do you mean assuming that they will always be there or always have feelings for me?
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I can also recommend a good book on working on co-dependency: The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie. If you think you might be co-dependant. It's actually quite a good read, regardless. It gives a lot of concrete, active suggestions for thought-process evaluations and modifications.
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I'll pick this up and give it a read. I don't want to add any more stressors to our relationship than what already exists.
I'm thinking that this really is just all in my head. I mean, she's made some nice plans for our 3-year anniversary already, and its not for another 1.5 months. I
know she wouldn't do this if she weren't happy with our relationship.
There have been some recent changes in her life which I'm not used to. Some of my concern is warranted, however the length to which I'm taking it is not. She has started to hang around a couple single guys. This concerned me. However, when I asked her about it she said it was strictly platonic and that she's not out to replace me; she just wants to make some new friends and develop a social life...something she has lacked for quite a while. I'm gradually getting used to this. To be honest, when I stop to think about it, it's not a big deal at all. She's allowed to have her friends and her social life. I shouldn't impede that. Perhaps she just wants to spend some more time with other people so she can miss me more. We did used to see each other quite a bit, and exclusively, mind you.
I also seem to have an issue with plans being changed or cancelled. I always seem to think that she's changing plans because she wants to hang out with someone else, or because she's unhappy with me for some reason even though she never gives any evidence to confirm that. There's always a legitimate reason for changing plans. I just think the worst of it.