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mixedsubstance · 07-05-2006, 03:36 PM

I've been divorced for 2 yrs. now. Our 6 yr. old son lives with me, goes to his father's every other weekend per the final parenting plan. However, verbally agreed amongst the ex and I, my ex has our son every other week during the summertime. Then we would go back to the normal parenting schedule come school year in the fall.
Now- my ex is trying to get out of paying the child support because of this change (although after demanding him to, he paid the full amount this month). He pays me directly, obviously- it is not garnished. I reminded him that the living arrangement was only temporary (for 7 weeks in the summer) and was mutually agreed upon. That has NOTHING to do with child support. He is still legally bound to pay that. He is accusing me of just being selfish because I want the money. I told him that of that money, part of it is his contribution to our repo'd car payments, and the rest is for our son (which to me is still not a whole lot, but I am not going to complain- I am not greedy or ruthless about it). He claims that since he provides him a home, a bed, clothes, food- that he shouldn't have to be paying.
On a side note, he also told me that he told my son that this every-other-week summer arrangement was what *I* wanted. I am very heated because of this, since my ex suggested it in the first place.
Also, for the past few months, my ex has brought up the idea of wanting our son to live with him, since he has an 'established family setting' (living w/ girlfriend and her daughter, as well as when his daughter who stays with him on the weekends). This, I am sure, has a lot to do with his whole griping and threatening of the child support.
I am living in Seattle, they live 30 min. south of me. My family lives abut 1 hr. south of me. I have a very secure, well-paying job up here. I needed to find something higher-paying after the divorce to be able to live on my own and this opportunity came up, so I moved north with my son right before he started kindergarten last fall. Problem is, I am in the midst of a having to fix my car for the 3rd time in 3 months, but I plan on selling it and getting a newer car within the month. I also live with my boyfriend of over a year who also has kids of his own, but live with their mom. My son doesn't seem to have many friends outside of school up here, and I have tried to arrange play dates and such with other parents & kids from school, but it never seems to happen. He goes to daycare (Boys & Girls club) and in the summer goes all day on the weeks I have him, so he does get a lot of interaction with other kids.
My son says he's happy with me, but I know how much he misses his cousins, grandparents, etc. since he doesn't get to see them as much anymore. He is SUCH a momma's boy, but I just want my son to be happy. I don't want to think about him not living with me- but I do have to think about his happiness. I know he won't ever be 100% happy due to his mom and dad not being together, but I just want to make sure that whatever is done is in my son's best interest. Yet, I don't want to fall into something that is detremental for him, due to anything that my ex tries to pull or tell him or get away with.
My ex is now threatening to take this to court- regarding the child support, but also makes me wonder what else he will try to do- like try to get custody of our son. I honestly don't know what the court would say if they look at my living situation vs. my ex's.
Would anyone here have any advice or experience in this? I sure as hell don't have money for a lawyer, though their are free attorney clinics in the area to give legal insight. I am also wondering how to make the right choices for my son- putting him first. I just don't know. I love him to death, and want him to be with me, but I do think about his happiness coming first. First things first though, I was advised to go to DSHS and have the child support garnished from my ex's wages. Would this be a good place to start?

Help!!!!

07-05-2006, 03:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
mixedsubstance Crazy Location: Where the wild things are.	Legal advice? Been there? I've been divorced for 2 yrs. now. Our 6 yr. old son lives with me, goes to his father's every other weekend per the final parenting plan. However, verbally agreed amongst the ex and I, my ex has our son every other week during the summertime. Then we would go back to the normal parenting schedule come school year in the fall. Now- my ex is trying to get out of paying the child support because of this change (although after demanding him to, he paid the full amount this month). He pays me directly, obviously- it is not garnished. I reminded him that the living arrangement was only temporary (for 7 weeks in the summer) and was mutually agreed upon. That has NOTHING to do with child support. He is still legally bound to pay that. He is accusing me of just being selfish because I want the money. I told him that of that money, part of it is his contribution to our repo'd car payments, and the rest is for our son (which to me is still not a whole lot, but I am not going to complain- I am not greedy or ruthless about it). He claims that since he provides him a home, a bed, clothes, food- that he shouldn't have to be paying. On a side note, he also told me that he told my son that this every-other-week summer arrangement was what I wanted. I am very heated because of this, since my ex suggested it in the first place. Also, for the past few months, my ex has brought up the idea of wanting our son to live with him, since he has an 'established family setting' (living w/ girlfriend and her daughter, as well as when his daughter who stays with him on the weekends). This, I am sure, has a lot to do with his whole griping and threatening of the child support. I am living in Seattle, they live 30 min. south of me. My family lives abut 1 hr. south of me. I have a very secure, well-paying job up here. I needed to find something higher-paying after the divorce to be able to live on my own and this opportunity came up, so I moved north with my son right before he started kindergarten last fall. Problem is, I am in the midst of a having to fix my car for the 3rd time in 3 months, but I plan on selling it and getting a newer car within the month. I also live with my boyfriend of over a year who also has kids of his own, but live with their mom. My son doesn't seem to have many friends outside of school up here, and I have tried to arrange play dates and such with other parents & kids from school, but it never seems to happen. He goes to daycare (Boys & Girls club) and in the summer goes all day on the weeks I have him, so he does get a lot of interaction with other kids. My son says he's happy with me, but I know how much he misses his cousins, grandparents, etc. since he doesn't get to see them as much anymore. He is SUCH a momma's boy, but I just want my son to be happy. I don't want to think about him not living with me- but I do have to think about his happiness. I know he won't ever be 100% happy due to his mom and dad not being together, but I just want to make sure that whatever is done is in my son's best interest. Yet, I don't want to fall into something that is detremental for him, due to anything that my ex tries to pull or tell him or get away with. My ex is now threatening to take this to court- regarding the child support, but also makes me wonder what else he will try to do- like try to get custody of our son. I honestly don't know what the court would say if they look at my living situation vs. my ex's. Would anyone here have any advice or experience in this? I sure as hell don't have money for a lawyer, though their are free attorney clinics in the area to give legal insight. I am also wondering how to make the right choices for my son- putting him first. I just don't know. I love him to death, and want him to be with me, but I do think about his happiness coming first. First things first though, I was advised to go to DSHS and have the child support garnished from my ex's wages. Would this be a good place to start? Help!!!! __________________ Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!? Without energy, there would be nothing. Last edited by mixedsubstance; 07-05-2006 at 03:41 PM..