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Old 06-30-2006, 11:22 AM   #28 (permalink)
abaya
 
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Location: Iceland
I feel like my last post was quite misunderstood, so I don't feel encouraged to post again. But for what it's worth, I'll throw in one more post in the hopes it won't offend you or be the wrong "kind" of post or message or experience or whatever you are looking for.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thed00t
Worth pursuing? Yes. Worth destroying a good friendship over? Not really.
These are mutually exclusive statements. If someone is truly worth pursuing, and I mean in every sense of the word, then you should be ready to risk everything to pursue her. THAT's evidence of someone being "worth" pursuing. They are actually worth the chance of losing a friendship over... because that's what someone in that situation really wants, anyway. Not a friendship. A relationship. And anyone worth his balls (or her balls, figuratively) who wants a relationship will not be satisfied with a nice little "friendship" instead, just to be nice and respectful, all the while settling for feverishly rubbing one out every night. Not saying you would do that, but that's what I think of guys who don't 'fess up about their feelings.

Maybe I'm giving advice again, but advice is based on prior experience. And I can tell you from prior experience that I have never had much respect for men who were my friends for a long time, but then 'fessed up later that they "didn't want to ruin the friendship" and that's why they never put their balls on the line to tell me about it. I eventually disrespected them to the point of no longer being friends with them. In men, courage and the ability to take risks are near the top of my list. Anyone else just drops straight into friend zone.

Quote:
Why would you two, as females, think negatively of a guy who liked you but didn't tell you if they truly thought they were doing you a favor by not complicating your life when you didn't need it.
If you're asking me personally, I don't need anyone to do "favors" for me by taking care of what is MY responsibility. My responsibility = my feelings, my reactions, and my responses to whatever anyone else around me says or does, including confessing their feelings for me. It is not someone else's job to run interference for my emotions. And if someone thinks they're doing me a "favor" by buffering me from "complications," then there's no way in hell I could possibly trust or respect them once the truth came out. That is my own personal view, and that's what you asked for. I can't make any assumptions for this other chick in your situation.
__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

--Khalil Gibran

Last edited by abaya; 06-30-2006 at 11:25 AM..
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