d00t, don't concern yourself with some of these comments. Certain people
love to tell you who you are, what your motivations are, and what you
really meant -- even after you've made it plainly clear that you (a) don't care who they thinks you are and (b) that they're wrong in his belief about you.
That said, I think your post is different from the typical ones. You're hiding behind "respect" a little bit too much, but that doesn't mean its an excuse. Personally, I think you need to look at which is more disrespectful -- not telling her, or telling her. You'd be surprised to find its the former. Weigh respect for her versus need to tell.
