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Originally Posted by Cynthetiq
It's not that I don't believe you; I believe you are in denial.
read my first paragraph again:
See if you disrespect what you think is her, then you'll feel bad.
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Originally Posted by abaya
Well, I'm a woman and I'd have to agree with the no-balls argument. I've been on the other side.
You're hemming and hawing and making excuses for her, on the premise of being "respectful."
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I guess I don't think like you and Cynthetiq do. I'm not in denial and I'm not making excuses under any guises. I'm not on here to prove anything. I'm here to form new opinions based on other experiences. Stop trying to project how you THINK I feel onto me and just take my word as to how I feel and plan on acting.
Again, I thank for for your contribution, but you are giving advice based on how someone else might act.
Which is why I asked for experiences rather than advice in the first place. I'd rather read someone's experience and interpret that on my own than hear any more advice that doesn't even apply to me because you are giving advice based on someone elses personality instead of me.
Either trust what I say, or your advice is useless to me since it's formulated for someone else. Square peg, round hole people.
I think maybe asking an internet forum for experiences was a bad idea. You guys seem to only want to make assumptions and interpret my statements incorrectly in order to find some kind of "root cause". I thank you for your attempts, but it is next to useless to me because it just flat out doesn'tt apply. I mean no offense by that, I know you guys want to help.
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Originally Posted by abaya
-snip--
She might slap you and never speak to you again. She might embrace you and you'll end up happily ever after. Or she'll be confused, and you'll end up somewhere in the middle. Any of those outcomes are better than your current position.
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I tend to disagree that any of those outcomes are better than my current position. It's not like this is keeping my up at night and I'm not desperately in love with this girl. Worth pursuing? Yes. Worth destroying a good friendship over? Not really. There are always fish in the sea.
I place a little bit more value on my friends than that.
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Originally Posted by abaya
You cannot be responsible for her, including her feelings and reactions, in this situation. You can only be responsible for yourself and what you want. So either do it, or walk away. But do NOT move in with her without telling her how you feel.
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Your first statement is a good point. I usually think like that. For example I am a pretty blunt guy. Sometimes being that blunt will offend or insult people I work with, over sensitive people, or just in general anyone who is not used to that. I'm not rude, but I am honest. If someone thinks I am rude or is insulted by something I say, I think it is their problem not mine. All I did was say how I think, and how I think is based on how I see the facts.
In this situation, I see it slightly different. Yes if I tell her and she reacts negavitely that isn't really fair because I can't help being attracted to her. But it also puts her in a place where she has to deal with more than she asked for. Especially given the circumstances.
Why would you two, as females, think negatively of a guy who liked you but didn't tell you if they truly thought they were doing you a favor by not complicating your life when you didn't need it. Personally, if the roles were reversed, I'd appreciate a girl just dealing with her emotions rather than complicate my shit at the time. I'd prefer that she wait it out, really see if the attraction is geniune with time, and then choose the right time to tell me. I'd think that action shows more respect than giving into your emotions and providing unwanted drama into someone's life.
I don't understand that emotion and would like to know more about it. It sounds like my thinking is completely off in that respect, which I wouldn't doubt, since I don't think like a female.