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Okay, here's the secret about men.
Men want to fix what's wrong. Always. That's what men are about. It's why they like power tools so much.
Always fixing, fixing, fixing. It's useful! When you're talking about a house or a car, it's great to want to always be fixing!
But when you're talking about a significant other, it's not so useful! Because you know as well as I do that nothing he can do will "fix" what happened or how you reacted and responded to it. You're not looking to be "fixed". But it's all he's got.
So have a little compassion. The guy is rummaging frantically through his toolbox, and he can't find the right tool to fix your problem. It's pretty rough for him over there--which is why he shuts down when you're having that conversation.
He's going to be shocked to find out that you don't want him to fix it. Let him know that all you need for him to do is to listen and understand. He'll be very, very relieved.
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