ktthequeen

Long, depressing story short, I was raped by several guys I went to HS with when I was 17. Previously was a virgin, dealt with all that by whoring myself out, developing eating disorders and finally moving away. Last year, just a month shy of my 5 yr anniversary of the rape, I got raped by a friend of a friend of a friend.

Now, I think I've done an okay job of dealing with my head, but I did so by not getting attached and/or developing any sort of real, meaningful relationships with men or women. And now I've been dating a great guy (long-distance, although we see each other at least once a month) for about 6 months now. He knows the very brief "it happened" version of each instance, but whenever I try to discuss ANYTHING relating to this aspect of my past, it's like I'm talking to a wall. He says he wants to try and understand (and I really do believe him) but I know it makes him very uncomfortable and he says the reason he doesn't respond much when I try and talk about it is because he "knows there's nothing [he] can say to make it all go away" and stuff along those lines.

However, due to recent events, I NEED him to be there for me, to be able to talk me through stuff. I don't know if there's anyone on here who's had to deal with someone in my situation, relationship-wise, but I need some advice.

Should I just get over the fact that I'll never be able to actually talk to him about this (IE end the relationship) or what? I don't know how to help him be comfortable with it, but I don't think having a relationship with a man who cannot come to grips with my past will ever survive in the long run...