I used to be very, very Christian. This created a very special bond between myself and my mother, who is also very Christian. However, when Martel and I started dating my philosophies changed very much and I no longer am a "Christian."
It's not like being gay. There's no big family meeting where you tell everyone at the same time. Hell, I don't tell my family, they don't ask. I talk to my mom about religion, but I always drop hints and so she thinks I'm still Christian. I'm fine with that, I don't feel bad for doing so. Telling her my true beliefs would have her convinced that I've gone completely nuts. She is VERY Baptist. To the point where she doesn't go to church because she believes that the Bible cannot be interpreted by man and must be taught "purely in wholeness."
How many other religions have you studied? Part of what helped me shape my own world view was having a very clear understanding of other religions, philosophies, opnions, psychologies, and facts. It's not a bad thing to change your opnion, it's a GOOD thing. You're not blindly following what someone else is dishing out, you're forging your own path and saying "Alright, what do I Believe?" Everyone has to find their own way. Another suggestion I would make would be to look for a Unity church (NOT Unitarian). My Aunt and Uncle go to a Unity church and they like it very much, as it doesn't teach a specific religious doctrine but instead focuses on looking at all the doctrines and philosophies and letting each person come to their own conclusion. It's like a big religious discussion group, as far as I can tell.
I also came to a lot of conclusions by reading Alan Watts. I find his views on things to make A LOT of sense and mirror mine closely.
Just remember, your inner moral philosophy doesn't make you a "good" or "bad" person. It's just who you are. You're still you same old self, you're still your mother's son and your friends' friend. You just live your life and let them live theirs- if they love you the way the Bible tells them to, then your personal beliefs won't get in the way of that love. And, like I said, you don't have to tell them. In fact, you shouldn't tell them unless you feel like it. I consider my spirituality to be a highly personal thing and don't go around explaining my personal beliefs to everyone; you shouldn't have to do so in order to feel at peace either. Best of luck
