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Nemi · 06-15-2006, 12:32 AM

Hi,

In Jan 2006, I told my boyfriend (of nearly 5 years) that I was attracted to a colleague at work (my superior). We talked and emailed about why this was happening ( it's a long distance relationship). In Feb 06, things got complicated, I was on a field trip in the Philippines, that superior came to my hotel room with a bottle of wine and sat for 3 hrs talking about different things, nothing happened, as in there was no kissing, he (the superior) just touched my shoulder. That same night, my boyfriend called and asked me to be online. I told him I would be there. But I was online 1 hour later because I was talking to that superior and was unable to tell him that he needed to leave my room. So ever since, that night, I have been having discussions with my boyfriend as to the meaning of what I had with that superior. He (my boyfriend) says I was a cheater and a liar because I was "involved" with that other person while I made him feel the contrary. From there, I started answering my boyfriend's questions and I realized that I was bored with how the way things had been going between us (in truth, 6 months later, I think I was bored with my life and work and looked outside for excitement). But I am paying the consequences now because my boyfriend says he doesn't respect me or trust me..many other things actually. We are meeting in 5 days after 4 yrs and he said tht it's best for us to meet for a short term (I am still unclear on that).

I do love my boyfriend, really do..at least now I am realizing it when I see what a fool I was to pick such a short term excitement over a relationship of 5 years. But our discussions are endless because in my view, he stalls my efforts to clear things between us - why did I do what I did, is it going to happen again.

I dont think I had an affair as in I didn't meet that superior for lunches, or had sex with him. I did like the conversations I had with him, they were more smooth and easy while with my bf I was having fights all the time.

Was it an affair per say or an office romance? I dont work at that office anymore to precise things since my work was supposed to end in May 06. I thus do not think I am cheater, but I think I did lie to my bf by not revealing that I was unhappy about certain issues I had with him. I have my responsibility in all this.

Thank you for reading such a long post and letting me know ur thoughts on the above. Anyone's thoughts would be most helpful.

06-15-2006, 12:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
Nemi Upright	fling or office romance or affair ? Hi, In Jan 2006, I told my boyfriend (of nearly 5 years) that I was attracted to a colleague at work (my superior). We talked and emailed about why this was happening ( it's a long distance relationship). In Feb 06, things got complicated, I was on a field trip in the Philippines, that superior came to my hotel room with a bottle of wine and sat for 3 hrs talking about different things, nothing happened, as in there was no kissing, he (the superior) just touched my shoulder. That same night, my boyfriend called and asked me to be online. I told him I would be there. But I was online 1 hour later because I was talking to that superior and was unable to tell him that he needed to leave my room. So ever since, that night, I have been having discussions with my boyfriend as to the meaning of what I had with that superior. He (my boyfriend) says I was a cheater and a liar because I was "involved" with that other person while I made him feel the contrary. From there, I started answering my boyfriend's questions and I realized that I was bored with how the way things had been going between us (in truth, 6 months later, I think I was bored with my life and work and looked outside for excitement). But I am paying the consequences now because my boyfriend says he doesn't respect me or trust me..many other things actually. We are meeting in 5 days after 4 yrs and he said tht it's best for us to meet for a short term (I am still unclear on that). I do love my boyfriend, really do..at least now I am realizing it when I see what a fool I was to pick such a short term excitement over a relationship of 5 years. But our discussions are endless because in my view, he stalls my efforts to clear things between us - why did I do what I did, is it going to happen again. I dont think I had an affair as in I didn't meet that superior for lunches, or had sex with him. I did like the conversations I had with him, they were more smooth and easy while with my bf I was having fights all the time. Was it an affair per say or an office romance? I dont work at that office anymore to precise things since my work was supposed to end in May 06. I thus do not think I am cheater, but I think I did lie to my bf by not revealing that I was unhappy about certain issues I had with him. I have my responsibility in all this. Thank you for reading such a long post and letting me know ur thoughts on the above. Anyone's thoughts would be most helpful.