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So finals week is next week and everyone in school is studying like no other... And my ex and I went to the library to study today. Out of nowhere she messages him "you're missing out it's a party here at the library me and phil (a mutual friend of me, my ex, and her) are both here come study!! ( I took it word for word from the text). So then my ex texts her back that him and I are also studying at the library and she replies with "oh shit... just kidding. please disregard my last message :X haha you can have fun with her" (taken word for word... WHO SAYS THAT?). Of course I'm kinda TICKED off from that comment because to me it's like ok... so she'll ONLY want to hang out with him if I'm not there? Is that not shady or what? So I call our mutual friend and asks him where he is at the library and we both go meet him up. To my surprise, that girl wasn't even there! She was on the same floor, but our mutual friend wasn't even studying with her and he hasn't even seen her that day. They were just on the same floor and talking on aim. So my thing is... why would she tell my ex to go study with them, when there was no them? And the fact that because I was also at the library, she didn't want to hang out together anymore. I found that to be very shady...
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This rings alarm bells in my head. To me it's like she's trying to get him to come meet her, by lying and making it sound like she'd be accompanied by another person, and so your (ex)boyfriend would think there'd be no way she'd try anything if someone else was there, and then if he did show up she'd be alone and could "have her way with him" so to speak.
Also the fact that she sends your (ex)boyfriend bitchy messages making you sound like a pain in the ass isn't "friend" behaviour.
I think you should be worried. But I don't think you should go to your (ex)boyfriend about it. Because that is exactly what she wants you to do. She wants you to be the bitch, who is paranoid about her "boyfriend's" girl - "friends". She wants him to get tired of your "nagging" and come and commiserate on her shoulder. I'm not sure what you can do without losing out. It depends entirely on the opinion of your ex.
And this brings me to another important point - he is your ex right? So she wants him and now the two of you are on similar ground, though you clearly have the advantage. Make sure he's worth fighting for. I mean, he can't commit to you. It has nothing to do with age. Ever heard the expression "it's not the quantity, it's the quality"? Some people are with one single person their whole lives. Do you think if you asked them they'd express regret over this? Or do you think they might consider themselves luckier than most? It's all about perspective. It could just be he needs time to realize how important or not you are to him.
I think you need to distance yourself from the anger/frustration you're feeling. Accept that there's probably not much you can do about this, and the worst that you could do is to pick his brain about it. If you can lay back and just concentrate on your relationship with him, it may work your way. Just be your normal, great/interesting/intelligent/sexy/attractive self and all that he fell for, and maybe he'll see his mistake in breaking up. Or not.
I'm sure you don't want to hear this but if it doesn't work out, you'll find someone else. Someone better and worth your time. Really.