I am curious as to what opinions some of the young ladies in the forum
Well, I haven't hit the big three-oh yet, and I used to be younger, so I guess I'll weigh in. might have regarding dating older men. I ask this because it is relevant to my personal life, so allow me to provide some context:
I am 38 years old, and mutually ended an 8-year, live in relationship with my girlfriend 6 months ago.
Just curious--how old was your ex when you first started dating her??
I live in the city of New Orleans, and almost all of my closest friends moved after Katrina. The ones that remain are mostly in their mid-20's, so much of my opportunity for socialization occurs within this age group.
I should mention that I don't look 38 (most people assume I'm 30-32), I'm told that I'm a handsome devil, I'm in great physical shape, and I have a certifiable "hipster" pedigree
. I follow the indie rock music scene, I have good taste in clothes, I know the local club owners, etc. etc., so it's not like these young women would be dating "grandpa."
Okay.
Having said that, most of the women I encounter that seem interested in me
Another question you could ask is "Why don't the older (like 30-40 year old) women seem interested in me?" Do you try so hard to come off as the "hipster" that the 30ish women see you as "Peter Pan." It may just be me (I'm 29,) but when I see someone in their late thirties still trying to be "on the cutting edge" it just seems kind of ...somewhere between silly and sad. are 10-12 years younger than I am. While I don't have a problem with that, I do have some worries. Because of the stage of life they are in, they tend to go out more often, hang out with groups of friends, and generally "be on the scene" much more than I do considering where I am in life.
Is this where you are meeting your potential dating partners? If you are meeting your potential partners at the clubs, they will tend to be women who like to (fanfare!!!) go out to the clubs!! Have you tried looking in a different social milieu for companionship? Or is most of your life (outside of work) the club scene? Is there somewhere else that you might look for women closer to your own "stage in life," or do your really, for whatever reason, just prefer the twenty-somethings. I like to go out when there is a compelling reason (a great band, a good party, etc), but I tend to opt for dinner at one of the great local restaurants, a nice bottle of wine, then back the house for a movie, monkey love, etc.
For me, this would be what I would look for in a more "mature" relationship--having more to do with the duration of the relationship, not the age of the participants. I would never have a problem with going to one of the "scene" clubs, but in New Orleans that often means staying out until 3-6am, and that is something I cannot do on a regular basis.
Amen on that! I have mostly lost the desire to be part of "the scene" as well as the stamina.
I can see how these issues could cause problems in a relationship with a large age gap, and I guess I'm wondering what younger women might want, expect, hope for, fear, etc, when they consider getting involved with someone who is signficantly older than they are.
Don't expect them to be at home, waiting for you to call. When I was younger, I always wanted to be out every night doing things. Like if I stayed home, I might miss something going on someplace. Club crawling, or just hanging with a "pack" of my friends was often more fun than a structured, planned "date."
Any insights for me?