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Originally Posted by CityOfAngels
And yes, there is a big difference between "sex" and "making love." I experienced that myself years ago, and the same thing now with this new woman. I'm not in love with her, so I focus more on the fact that I'm getting some and how it's my duty as her bed partner to satisfy her. With my ex, everything just happened naturally.
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Sex is about having fun with one another, playing with one another, not being graded on whether you reach a certain goal or not. No wonder you're having trouble keeping it up; you're too worried about doing it right to enjoy it.
The missing ingredient is real affection. You and your ex were really close, and you were hard as a rock every time. As you say, everything happened naturally.
You want to perform well everytime, go to bed with women you care about and who cares about you. Because you know on those times that something goes "wrong --- " it won't matter a bit.
Some men can perform with any woman, known or unknown. You're not one of them. And in a way, you're lucky.