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Originally Posted by innovis
In early April I met a nice young woman (19) and we hit it off... and hit it.
I find out she has a boyfriend at the time, who has been living in another state for almost a year.
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A taken woman is off-limits. You should've backed off when you found out she already had a man.
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She has cheated on him with 2 guys when she got extremely drunk for the first time, and multiple times with another guy before me.
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If she cheated on a guy multiple times and feels no guilt for doing that what makes you think she'll ever be faithful to you?
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She says she doesn't love him anymore, but she still loved him as a friend. She did not feel that she could break up with him, because he has depressive and suicidal tendancies.
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She's feeding you a truckload of Womanese, my friend. If she hasn't dumped him it's because he has something she wants or needs so she's not ready to let go until she finds a new turkey who can offer her whatever perks she'll be giving up from the current chump.
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The only reason I continued, in the beginning, I suppose, was because I knew she had already cheated and didn't have any more feelings for him, and because I thought it was going to be short term (she has currently moved away to another nearby city). Plus I liked her. Well, after she pseudo-broke up with him, we continued, and I developed feelings for her, and she asserts that she has for me.
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It is crazy for you to believe anything this woman says given that she's a cheater with no integrity to begin with. She's playing with your heart, my friend.
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Now we're in the present. She just spent two and a half weeks living with me, essentially being my unofficial girlfriend. Shes back in the other city now, but she hopes to return soon. There is also the chance, due to monetary concerns, that she may not be able to go to her expensive school in September, and may instead have to attend a state university. Which would essentially mean she'd want to continue things in perpetuity.
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Until you've been with her for a whole year without any red flags there's no reason to assume anything. She may have stayed with you for two and a half weeks, but that doesn't mean anything.
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I like her. I don't know how far it could go under ideal circumstances. Due to her past transgressions, though, I don't know if I can ever trust her completely. This is not the first boyfriend shes cheated on. I don't want to be the next.
Should I attempt to trust her, or should I harden my heart and move on? I'm 22 by the way, and a college senior.
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What I would recommend to you, my friend, is to drop this woman like a very bad habit. She may be younger than you, but she obviously is light-years ahead of you in terms of deviousness and manipulation. I wouldn't say that you should harden your heart, but you should definitely kick that girl to the curb. If you stay with her and end up marrying her you'll eventually find out that she's been cheating on you with your coworkers and she'll eventually reveal that your two or three kids might not be yours.
Pull yourself out of this mess ASAP. That girl is no good for you. Find yourself a woman who respects you and respects herself so that you're not ever going to have to face the prospect of getting cheated on.