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It is not your mom's place to tell him how to do anything with his son; I have had unsolicited 'advice' about how to handle my kids and I have gotten defensive. Anything at this point would be perceived as an attack-the man knows he's not exactly loved by anyone in that household.
You don't have to verbalize to your son that you hate his dad-your actions and those of your parents define that, even if you think it's subtle.
All kids get clingy at that age; the animosity and 'clan' mentality just exacerbate it that much more. Change has to come from somewhere-be the bigger person and let it start with you.
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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
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