Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

innovis · 06-10-2006, 01:09 AM

In early April I met a nice young woman (19) and we hit it off... and hit it.

I find out she has a boyfriend at the time, who has been living in another state for almost a year. He visits her about once every month or so. She has cheated on him with 2 guys when she got extremely drunk for the first time, and multiple times with another guy before me. She says she doesn't love him anymore, but she still loved him as a friend. She did not feel that she could break up with him, because he has depressive and suicidal tendancies.

Fast forward 2 weeks, and he comes to visit. Yes, we were still hooking up. She tells him she wants to go on a break until they can be united. United, as in they're both PLANNING on attending the same college in a different state in September (a different state from where he and she and I live currently).

The only reason I continued, in the beginning, I suppose, was because I knew she had already cheated and didn't have any more feelings for him, and because I thought it was going to be short term (she has currently moved away to another nearby city). Plus I liked her. Well, after she pseudo-broke up with him, we continued, and I developed feelings for her, and she asserts that she has for me.

Now we're in the present. She just spent two and a half weeks living with me, essentially being my unofficial girlfriend. Shes back in the other city now, but she hopes to return soon. There is also the chance, due to monetary concerns, that she may not be able to go to her expensive school in September, and may instead have to attend a state university. Which would essentially mean she'd want to continue things in perpetuity.

I like her. I don't know how far it could go under ideal circumstances. Due to her past transgressions, though, I don't know if I can ever trust her completely. This is not the first boyfriend shes cheated on. I don't want to be the next.

Should I attempt to trust her, or should I harden my heart and move on? I'm 22 by the way, and a college senior.

06-10-2006, 01:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
innovis Crazy	Once a cheater, always a cheater? In early April I met a nice young woman (19) and we hit it off... and hit it. I find out she has a boyfriend at the time, who has been living in another state for almost a year. He visits her about once every month or so. She has cheated on him with 2 guys when she got extremely drunk for the first time, and multiple times with another guy before me. She says she doesn't love him anymore, but she still loved him as a friend. She did not feel that she could break up with him, because he has depressive and suicidal tendancies. Fast forward 2 weeks, and he comes to visit. Yes, we were still hooking up. She tells him she wants to go on a break until they can be united. United, as in they're both PLANNING on attending the same college in a different state in September (a different state from where he and she and I live currently). The only reason I continued, in the beginning, I suppose, was because I knew she had already cheated and didn't have any more feelings for him, and because I thought it was going to be short term (she has currently moved away to another nearby city). Plus I liked her. Well, after she pseudo-broke up with him, we continued, and I developed feelings for her, and she asserts that she has for me. Now we're in the present. She just spent two and a half weeks living with me, essentially being my unofficial girlfriend. Shes back in the other city now, but she hopes to return soon. There is also the chance, due to monetary concerns, that she may not be able to go to her expensive school in September, and may instead have to attend a state university. Which would essentially mean she'd want to continue things in perpetuity. I like her. I don't know how far it could go under ideal circumstances. Due to her past transgressions, though, I don't know if I can ever trust her completely. This is not the first boyfriend shes cheated on. I don't want to be the next. Should I attempt to trust her, or should I harden my heart and move on? I'm 22 by the way, and a college senior.