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when i'm meeting someone new, i start doing like a mini-interview with them. Ask them questions, and try to get deeper into their character, their motives for "such and such" (anything they're telling you) ect.
I find that the level of comfort the other person has also affects my comfort level too. If they are really talkative, I relax more and talk more also. If not, if they're shy, I take the lead in talking, but then if it diesn;t go anywhere after a few tries I just give up. Chemistry.
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