One thing I notice both here and in life with divorced couples-too many of the moms(custodial parent, if you will) will harbor such hate for the ex, then say 'but I would never go against (court order/father relationship) in front of our kids.' Do you really think kids are that ignorant of all this maliciousness? Do you truly think that any child, including those not from a split relationship, won't take every opportunity to play on these feelings? The problem is, the child plays on the feelings and absorbs them as well and gets more stressed than the so-called adults.
Example: my sister in law divorced her husband and was extremely bitter, mouthy, sent letters to him cussing him out (he showed me one and I couldn't believe the venom she wrote), would badmouth the man every chance she got. But 'not in front of the kids'. But for years, her sons dreaded being with their father, badmouthed him as well and it wasn't until they became older teens that their relationship got really close. Sadly, he died last month-the boys are 17 and 18. Years wasted.
So I ask you all....is this all worth it to you? You're supposed to be the adults. Whatever happened is over with. Quite frankly, you are not the important ones here-your kids are and they are suffering because of all this bitterness between the two people they are supposed to trust the most.
/me gets off her soapbox.
__________________
Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
|