YAY for you for putting together the cover letters - too many people don't... and it seems l ike you put a lot of thought into it.
(i'm the last person who should mention this... but)
Run 'em both thru a spell checker - my lousy spelling noticed a few spelling errors...
my first thought on the first letter.. It's just too long.. the point (in my delusional little world) of the cover letter is to tease the person reading it - make them want to bring you in for an interview to get to know more about you... I think you're giving too much away... it should be about 2 -3 paragraphs at most... covering the high points of your resume... Customer service/Co Worker support.. etc - basically how you would be a good fit with the position.
End the cover letter saying you'd like to schedule a followup appointment at their convenience and let them know where you can be contacted.
Also - retail gives you tons of experience that are easily adaptable in the real world - as your cover letter points out... Customer service is a skill... An Admin Asst is all about customer service...
Good luck
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
Last edited by maleficent; 06-08-2006 at 07:53 AM..
|