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Originally Posted by Martel
It sounds odd to me that he would be choosing to masturbate rather than have sex when it sounds like sex is freely available and in fact you wish he would have more of it with you. I'd say there's something about the way sex is working for you guys right now that isn't quite giving him everything he's looking for. See if you can get him to open up about it and talk to you. That may be difficult though, but as Don mentioned 99% of men in relationships would kill to have a woman who wanted sex as much as you do.
Whatever you do, DON'T try to stifle your own sex drive. It's a very good and positive and healthy thing and you should definitely not try to mess with it.
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The mastrubation vs. Sex issue is something we argue about once a month or so. I'm tired of arguing with him about it, so I decided to just deal. That is why I started mastrubating again, something I had not done since we moved in together (8 years ago this month).
I very much enjoy when we have sex. He says he enjoys it as well, though with him you never know lol. He lied about mastrubating nearly every day (and still does) though I know differently - I'm not dumb, and have my "ways" of checking. I just decided, I'm not going to get flustrated by it anymore.
I'm beginning to think my constant need comes from that old saying - you want what you can't have. I'm also beginning to think the reverse is true as well. Perhaps if I wasn't so "easy" about sex he'd want it more?? I have NEVER rejected sex from him, so perhaps its time I start. After last nights disappointment I think I'm going to abstain from sex for awhile ( if its possible lol). I think it will be a huge test of my will.
Sex isn't boreing ...at least I hope it's not boreing. I try to do different things in bed to keep monotany from setting in. I never "ask" for sex. I will flirt with him thoughout the day..drop little hints...random passionate kisses etc. Some nights I will grab his goods and go to town with manual / oral stimulation. Other nights its just soft kissing and petting to get him going. I've offered to watch porn with him, tried talking to him about any fantasies he has that he'd like to fulfill. I think we are just two totally different people in this department, and there is nothing I can say or do to change that. So I will revert to one of my favorite sayings:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
~Rachael