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I think it was my great uncle, there was a pair of Mormon missionaries who kept coming onto his property and coming up to his door, and one day apparently he opened the door with a loaded shot gun in hand. That's about the extent of humorous stories.
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I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
Emo Philips
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