Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Is it possible to politely turn down invitations?

blizzak · 05-19-2006, 02:51 PM

So I was invited to my girlfriend's friend's boyfriend's boat this weekend and the invitation was sent several weeks ago. I said I'd go...in fact my girlfriend sent me an e-mail with the invitation and she said "My May 2-4 holiday is actually May 22nd (Monday). So everyone book it off!". But now that it's actually that time, I am kinda bleh about the whole thing. Mainly because I think you have to either be a boating person or not, and I'm pretty sure I'm not. Also, it's the May 24 weekend, and there are several other get togethers that I am missing out on.

Now I'm not saying that I wasn't happy to be invited, but is it really so easy to turn down an invitation? I feel as though I was sorta forced into it, based off the original invitation and my girlfriend saying "So everyone book it off!". I don't wanna seem like a jerk or anything, but is that really possible in such situations? I guess it's how people perceive things and I shouldn't care about that(i.e. I tell someone i'm not a boat person when they are, they get insulted). Oh well, at least next time i'll have a past experience to draw from cause it's really too late to back out now.

Perhaps that's the reason that people make up so many excuses about things, so they don't hurt other people's feelings, even though their intent in the first place was never to do that. Of course, by lying maybe they make things worse because then the people might then think that the excuse is made up(which it usually is) and something actually is wrong. I also don't buy into this thing that "it's not where you are, but the people who are there that make the difference". If something isn't my cup of tea I don't want to be there, regardless of who is there. Let's do something that everyone can agree on.

I guess the answer is communication, understanding, honesty. I just wish people in general would hold these values more true. Any input would be greatly appreciated, and hopefully my message is written in some sort of coherant fashion, as I usually hope.

05-19-2006, 02:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
blizzak Crazy	Is it possible to politely turn down invitations? So I was invited to my girlfriend's friend's boyfriend's boat this weekend and the invitation was sent several weeks ago. I said I'd go...in fact my girlfriend sent me an e-mail with the invitation and she said "My May 2-4 holiday is actually May 22nd (Monday). So everyone book it off!". But now that it's actually that time, I am kinda bleh about the whole thing. Mainly because I think you have to either be a boating person or not, and I'm pretty sure I'm not. Also, it's the May 24 weekend, and there are several other get togethers that I am missing out on. Now I'm not saying that I wasn't happy to be invited, but is it really so easy to turn down an invitation? I feel as though I was sorta forced into it, based off the original invitation and my girlfriend saying "So everyone book it off!". I don't wanna seem like a jerk or anything, but is that really possible in such situations? I guess it's how people perceive things and I shouldn't care about that(i.e. I tell someone i'm not a boat person when they are, they get insulted). Oh well, at least next time i'll have a past experience to draw from cause it's really too late to back out now. Perhaps that's the reason that people make up so many excuses about things, so they don't hurt other people's feelings, even though their intent in the first place was never to do that. Of course, by lying maybe they make things worse because then the people might then think that the excuse is made up(which it usually is) and something actually is wrong. I also don't buy into this thing that "it's not where you are, but the people who are there that make the difference". If something isn't my cup of tea I don't want to be there, regardless of who is there. Let's do something that everyone can agree on. I guess the answer is communication, understanding, honesty. I just wish people in general would hold these values more true. Any input would be greatly appreciated, and hopefully my message is written in some sort of coherant fashion, as I usually hope. __________________ Fueled by oxytocin!