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It *is* frustrating. I understand. But I have found this post too late, and the REALLY GREAT answers are already here. You must follow the advice of Sage. It is perfection. After caring for my wife with breast cancer, I can honestly say it is good advice. You should also re-read the post by hunnychile. We enter into marriage, likely in our twenties, thinking that the sickness part will never happen. When it does, it's frustrating and you want to tear your hair out. Don't do it. Take a breath, step back, and remind yourself what a caring person you are to post a question to a forum instead of screaming at your SO.
I'm interested, though, as to why you may have posted this in Sexuality. I have a feeling that this has really hammered your sex life, but you are too polite to come out and say that. It's okay. If your sex life has gone for the time being, it would be very likely. I don't know. I do know that sex does induce lots of good chemicals into people's bodies, but suggesting it now would seem selfish, right? Well, it is a tough situation. Just be extra kind, touch her, and hold her. Don't be suggestive, but just make her feel loved, cared for, and close to you. That may lead to more. If you really need release, well, there's always masturbation. I know that sounds crude. And I really don't know of your feelings about it. But maybe it would ease some tensions, relax you, and get it out of your mind.
Okay, now go back and read Sage's advice again.
One day at a time.
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