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1) I'd have been here sooner if someone had lent me a hand.
I'll have to get back to the second two....what made me giggle would make others throw rotten fruit.
A blonde speeding down the freeway hears a police siren, followed by a loud 'PULLOVER'. Stopping her car, she rolls down her window and says to the approaching officer:
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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
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