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Old 04-26-2006, 09:38 AM   #7 (permalink)
Sage
hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005
 
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Location: North side
I'm going to do with what others are saying- it's TAXING to take care of someone! I work in the healthcare industry, and even taking care of someone for 8 hours and then going home at night is draining- 24 hours a day is insane!

First of all, realize that the best thing that you can do right now is be there for your wife and explore EVERY option to help her get better. The faster she gets better, the faster your life can return to normal. Do research, talk to specialists, consider alternative treatments, do whatever you can to help your wife get better as fast as possible.

That being said, TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOURSELF every day. Recharge your internal batteries. Take a walk, go fishing, go have a beer at the bar, whatever. If you're concerned about being away from your wife, get a walkie-talkie set or a pair of cell phones so you can be reached at all times. Talk to your family and your friends, and see if any of them are willing to help out. If you're involved in a church, get your church involved. Sometimes it's hard to say "I need help." Right now, you need to make sure you don't get burnt out, because if you do not only will it diminish the quality of life for you and your wife, but it will put a HORRENDOUS strain on your marriage.

Thirdly, find someone to talk to about all this. I would suggest a counselor, someone who is trained to listen, because after a while talking to your buddies about this will put a strain on your friendship. Just find someone you like and who will listen to you, and talk. Talking about things often makes them a LOT more manageable, because in talking you begin to really examine how you feel and, more importantly, why you feel that way.

Remember, this is just a phase. This is the "in sickness" part of "in sickness and in health." It's HARD, but it's possible. Build a big support network for yourself and make sure you have people to fall back on- you can't do it al yourself, nor should you expect to.
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Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox
She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous
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