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Mal : I didn't mean for "I will still love her" to sound the way it did. I was going for something else. But I will try to do that regardless, though it may seem over-ambitious to say now.
I don't get why she doesn't trust me really. She told me she did once, she told me she was secure once too. *sigh* I have already told her everything I need to gain her trust, have reassured her countless times about how secure I am with her.
I just seem to face a dead end now. It's quite hard to see/hear/know her crying almost more than once a day. It breaks me.
So basically, it boils down to this : I can't do anything about it, but sit it out and be there. But I've been doing that for the past 6 months, reassuring and reassuring over and over again that nothing bad is gonna happen anytime soon. I'm here, and will always try my best to be. She cries even when I'm there beside her.. she thinks so negatively, she sees it in a way that when I'm there, it'll be only for a while, then she has to let me go, and start missing me again.
*groan* I'm stuck, really. She thinks of the moments we spend together, and she feels depressed cos she starts missing me and stuff. I on the other hand cherish those moments and it brings joy. Why can't she do the same. I guess it's just different personalities.
I don't mind sitting it out, being beside her and try to work things out. But time is going to run out for me.. and I don't have much left to try to work things out to the best of it before I go. I'm worried that she would break badly if I leave her in a semi-wounded state.
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"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes.
When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.
That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein
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