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Right, the super special, limited, collecters edition, directors cut, of the joke, made specially for Charlatan
After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man (not Charlatan) will do, probably because there is some of danger involved.
When a man (not Charlatan) volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man (still not Charlatan) who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
4) THE MAN (NOT CHARLATAN) PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man (really, it's not Charlatan) that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
A Very Important Part
7a) THE MAN (I'M SERIOUS, IT'S NOT CHARLATAN) FLIPS THE MEAT ON THE GRILL TO COOK THE OTHER SIDE
Important again:
7b) THE MAN (ANTI-CHARLATAN) TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN (DO I HAVE TO SAY IT AGAIN?) and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11) The man (not Charlatan) asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
Lesson Learned
12) MAN (CHARLATAN... NAH, I'M KIDDING, IT'S STILL NOT CHARLATAN) GETS NO SEX THAT EVENING...
__________________
"Oh, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83 when I was the only practitioner of it, and I stopped because I was tired of being stared at."
Omnia mutantu, nos et mutamur in illis.
All things change, and we change with them.
- Neil Gaiman, Marvel 1602
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